


Genre-Typical

by onetiredboy



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Consent is Sexy, Other, Unresolved Sexual Tension, ao3 user onetiredboy most explicit sfw fic ever?????? NOT CLICKBAIT, hamming up the homme fatale / detective trope, meet cute, really going hard on it, the UST literally oozes out of this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:42:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28407915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onetiredboy/pseuds/onetiredboy
Summary: HELLO !!! been in a bad sick way, so i haven't been able to write, but tonight i was actually thinking of lex's fic where its 2m2m but ben is alive and it made me just so thirsty for the TENSION that i had to blast this one out. so thanks for curing me lex??the TW does slightly spoil the fic, so i'm placing it in the end notes, but know that it is no worse than anything that has been shown in canon, and doesn't seriously endanger or threaten the safety of any character. of course, check if you're not sure :)ALSO this is M-rated for A REASON. no sex happens but its is alluded to like every second sentence. just b aware !
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Comments: 26
Kudos: 100





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO !!! been in a bad sick way, so i haven't been able to write, but tonight i was actually thinking of lex's fic where its 2m2m but ben is alive and it made me just so thirsty for the TENSION that i had to blast this one out. so thanks for curing me lex??
> 
> the TW does slightly spoil the fic, so i'm placing it in the end notes, but know that it is no worse than anything that has been shown in canon, and doesn't seriously endanger or threaten the safety of any character. of course, check if you're not sure :)
> 
> ALSO this is M-rated for A REASON. no sex happens but its is alluded to like every second sentence. just b aware !

It's late in the office. Warm orange light spills over the paperwork from the hololamp in the corner, running down in golden rivulets over the creases of the paper on the desk. The smell of whiskey tinges the air, but the two drinks on the side of the desk are untouched — trickling condensation slowly onto files like ice cold candles.

Juno feels the warmth of the body against his back as Viziers leans over his shoulder to point at the plans. His voice is warm and smooth as Juno imagines his hands could be, in the right places. “We make our entrance here.”

The words are lost in a tangle of the small of cologne and a particularly vivid fantasy. Juno shifts slightly and clears his throat. “Right. Right, yeah.”

"Are you quite alright, detective?" Viziers asks, his voice just barely dipped in a teasing lilt.

"Tired," Juno grunts, and feels more than sees Viziers smile.

"Of course," he simpers, "We've been looking over these plans for hours. We could, of course, always take a break. Allow ourselves a moment to unwind. You look terribly tense, detective. Might I offer a massage? I've been told I'm _very_ skilled."

It's not an innuendo. It's not. Juno tries to focus on the words on the page in front of him _...blah blah blah client believes his stolen artwork is being stored in the Fortress of Swift, proposes a break in to investigate the scene for..._ even looking at the details of Viziers' proposed heist makes his gut sink. It's obvious the guy currently leaning even closer to him is guilty as hell, which makes it even more obvious to Juno that he only accepted the case because he's _hot_ as hell. Fuck.

"Juno?" (Jesus Christ, even the way he says his _name_ oozes sex). There is definitely a tease to Viziers' voice now, and as he steps back behind Juno, he drags his fingers against Juno's hip.

Juno jolts a little, and Viziers pauses.

"Too much?" he asks, his fingers still hovering near Juno's hip. All the play to his voice has melted away, and Juno realises that he's genuinely asking.

Which sucks for Juno, because he has to close his eyes, swallow, adjust his stance slightly, and mutter, "Uh. No. No, it's... good."

Viziers laughs a string of notes that worm right under the waistband of Juno's slacks, and he walks around his back to his other side. Effortlessly, he lifts himself up onto the table. Juno watches with vague suspicion as he roots through the inside pocket of his blazer, and then pulls out — of all things — a lollipop.

"So what's the plan, Private Eye?" he asks, unwrapping the plastic and deftly popping the ball of candy into his mouth. It props it open enough that Juno can see his fangs, sharp and inviting, just past the soft cushion of his red lips.

Juno swallows again and tears his eyes away, "The hell are you eating?"

Viziers laughs again and pulls the lollipop out of his mouth with a pop. "It's a lolly, detective. They're all the range back on Venus," with a lazy turn of his wrist, he offers it out, "Would you like to try? It's big enough for two to have a taste."

"Jesus Christ," Juno mutters to the paperwork. He cannot be getting hard over a lollipop — it's a matter of pride. "Can we get back to the target at hand?"

Now it's the third time Viziers laughs, and the charm is starting to wear off. "Oh, darling, you play the role so nicely."

"Play the role," Juno deadpans.

"The misanthropy, the jaded demeanour. Even the alcohol and the shabby coat," Viziers runs his spare hand over the collar, but it's not enough to stop Juno letting out an insulted ' _hey._ '

"You're just so... genre-typical. It's a treat," Viziers says, and leans back. He sticks the lollipop back between his lips.

"Yeah?" Juno asks, "And you?"

Viziers raises his eyebrows and takes the lollipop out of his mouth again, "Me?"

"Yeah, you. Look like you walked straight out of the stream tropes website for _homme fatale._ "

Viziers doesn't laugh. His gaze turns sharp, something akin to danger flitting across his face. Unfortunately, this is incredibly effective on Juno.

"I'm not sure what you mean. The _homme fatale,_ generally, is the one who did the crime, detective," he says lowly.

"Huh," Juno says back, "Funny that."

Viziers studies him for a moment. When he speaks at last, his voice is warm and viscous. "He also usually seduces the detective."

"Yeah?" Juno's voice cracks. Fuck. He clears his throat quickly. "Funny that, too."

Viziers smiles. He throws his lollipop into the wastepaper basket in the corner. He reaches out with both hands to take the collar of Juno's trench coat in them.

Juno's almost trembling in anticipation when Viziers slides his hands down on his coat and tugs him in close to the desk. When he sits up fully, he towers above Juno, and Juno tips his head back for him.

Viziers' smile has turned as sharp as his teeth. "Oh, Juno," he purrs, "Helpless little thing, aren't you? Can't control yourself around a pretty face, even when you know he's no good for you?"

Juno feels the pressure on his throat as he swallows. He shakes his head imperceptibly, and Viziers leans down and presses his soft lips to Juno's mouth.

He tastes like candy. He kisses like a thief. Juno makes shameless little sounds and nearly ruts against the goddamn desk. He wants him closer. He wants him _everywhere._ He grasps at Viziers' waist and tugs him in against his hips — but he's not even sure which way is up. His head is swimming, and his body is burning up and — going. Funny. Things are going funny, and he stumbles back from Viziers' roaming hands.

"Wha'zz at," his voice comes out thick and soupy, "What'zz you do ta me?"

Viziers laughs again. "Oh, nothing permanent. There was a sedative in the lollipop— one I'm quite immune to. You'll be right as rain in... say three hours or so?" Viziers slides off the desk, pushing Juno back as effortlessly as a child's toy to slip past him. "I'm terribly sorry, detective. It's nothing personal. I was so enjoying myself. Only, I'm sure you know how the movies go."

"Fuck," Juno slumps back against the wall, "The fortrezz..."

"Will be quite empty by the time you get to it, I'm afraid. I must thank you: I couldn't have done it without your help to procure all these schematics..." Viziers is tucking the said schematics into his pocket. He makes it to the door before he turns, and smiles again, giving Juno a blinding flash of sharp teeth.

"Oh, don't look so glum, detective. You'll see me again. Perhaps next time I'll even let you get to second base."

He winks, and then the door slides open, and he slides out — quick as shadow into the night.

And all Juno can think, as he slides to the ground and sees his vision start to go dark at the corners, is how embarrassing this is going to be to explain to Rita.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hELP, i made a part two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> full thanks to lex HAHA. also there will probably be a part 3 at some point on my, ahem, other account, ao3 user milfjuno -- which will be explicit, so please dont go search it up unless youre yanno. ok w that content
> 
> the same CW applies -- sexual references !

Juno never should've agreed to this goddamn case.

Someone called him in the dead of night, claiming an air-tight break in and some precious jewels stolen, and Juno's first reaction had been butterflies in his stomach. The jewels happen to be related to a certain set of artworks thieved seamlessly from the Fortress of Swift a month or two ago now. Which means nothing. 

But it had been just enough to convince Juno to get dressed in the dead of night and go try and solve a crime, anyway.

There's no way it's-- Juno can't think the name. He doesn't want to admit the real reason he took this case is for the chance of a goddamn dick appointment with a criminal. He grits his teeth and regrets not throwing a couple more creds towards someone who could've relieved the slow-building tension in his gut without all the--this. Maybe he wouldn't be so pathetically desperate that way.

Juno catches his train of thought and shoves it back on its rails. There's no way it's... that guy. He wasn't serious about the last thing he said, anyways. He's a criminal. But it may be an associate, if he's working in a gang. Or someone who's also after all these tidbits who may know more about what's going on. It's his job to find out -- no, his _civic duty_ to find out. Right. That. Exactly.

Juno snarks his way through the front door of the mansion that's been robbed and into the maze of rooms that make it up. It smells like musty carpet in most of them -- in some, it smells like musty carpet with a _hint_ of potpourri. Truly the height of class.

He enters a room where the shadows feel... deeper, somehow. And something shifts.

There's a feeling in his gut he can't shake as he explores the place, leafing through files and checking under old, stained furniture in the almost-dark -- a hunch that makes his heart pick up in his chest for a reason he isn't ready to admit is anything other than purely adrenaline. There are no clues, no tells, but there is that _twinge_ in his gut.

And that smell in the air. Juno whirls around.

"I caught you," he says, voice heavy with accusation.

"I'm revealing myself," Viziers corrects with a smile, stepping out of the shadows.

He's revealing himself, alright -- he's in a one-piece, skin-tight thing, that is open from his shoulders -- exposing his chest with its twin scars -- right down to where the cloth converges just above his hips in a literal goddamn _bow_. Juno flushes hot with the memory of Viziers' parting words before he pulls his eyes away in time to catch his smirk.

"Do you like it? I wore it just for you," he purrs.

"It's ridiculous," Juno grumbles. "You look like a goddamn birthday present."

"And does it happen to be your lucky day?"

"Nope," Juno pops the 'p', "Not even close."

"Shame," Viziers stalks forward and reaches out to tug at the collar of Juno's shirt. Juno flinches away, and Viziers giggles.

"You look terribly handsome when you're trying to do the moral thing," he says.

"I'm going to turn you in, you know," Juno deflects.

"Mm. If you can catch me, detective, I'm sure you'll try. But isn't that predictable? Dull?"

"The hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I'll strike a deal with you," Viziers says, pacing the room now, although his eyes never leave Juno's. "If you can catch and foil me before the night is through, I'll give you something _very_ special."

"Are you trying to bribe me with sex?" Juno growls, hoping to _God_ that Viziers takes that to mean it won't work, because fuck if his resolve isn't already stretched paper thin.

Viziers laughs, "Juno! Is that really all that's on your mind?" he winks, "No, no, detective. If you stop me, I'll tell you my real name."

"What's that supposed to do for me?"

"Come now, you're not one to give up on a mystery, are you?" Viziers batters his eyelashes, and then leans back against the wall and smiles again, innocent as anything. "And besides, you'll need something to scream out when you eventually cave in to my bribe of sex."

Juno splutters over the spit in his mouth, and some fucking how in the seconds he's too preoccupied with those thoughts to properly concentrate, Viziers slips back into the shadows of the room and is gone.

In the silence that follows, Juno clears his throat, and decides not to think too hard about the fact that Mars's Okayest Detective can be thrown off track by some pick-up lines. Civic duty, his ass.

Juno sighs to himself, and begins to gather clues.

**Author's Note:**

> TW: non-consensual drug (short-acting sedative) use
> 
> man this was fun to write!! pls comment if you liked it :P


End file.
